I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
