I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
