I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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