I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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