I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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