We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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