I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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