If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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