so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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