Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
