is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
