so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
