Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
