party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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