the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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