Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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