drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
