He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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