WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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