You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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