I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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