i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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