How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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