butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
