idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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