That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
40s are totally the cure
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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