if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
