please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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