Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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