hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize