party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
