So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
