If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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