Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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