My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
