totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
