it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My dick has a subreddit
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
