dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
