can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize