Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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