i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
