idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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