sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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