if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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