I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
