Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
