foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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