How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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