Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
