peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My bed smells like the plague
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
