She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
