he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
