only if we run a train.
done.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
