I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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