I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize