Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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